I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means to live a ‘perfect life’.
Years ago, I stumbled across a Ted Talk on ‘life design’. I remember the tag line being something like, “since your life is your most important project why not design your life?” or something along those lines. Although, I did not listen to the talk, the phrase “life design” kept revolving around me.
I am a mother of two small children. I work full time as a program manager for a non-profit. My ‘normal’ days are filled with commute, office work, kids, housework, and other chores. Rinse and Repeat.
But strangely, in this time of crisis, I think I may have found my ‘perfect life’ or something close to that. Full disclosure, I realize that I am extremely fortunate. My husband and I, we still have jobs, jobs that allow us to work from home. And we have a large extended family, both sets of grandparents living with us, one set temporarily, helping care for our two very active children, and taking on the daily cooking chores.
I have never really enjoyed shopping, clubbing, or any of those preferred extended weekend activities. I like to walk, read, be in nature, and sometimes cook and bake. And I like to take long and frequent pause on my news and social media consumption. This past weekend, I picked up my phone twice and only for five to ten minutes. I didn’t miss it at all.
I prefer quiet and stillness. What is different this time around is that the world outside is also keeping a self-imposed quietude. And this makes a huge difference in the quality of my ‘slowing down’. I don’t have to be anywhere, no one is expecting anything from me. There is no pressure, social or otherwise, to go somewhere, be someone, and do something.
I have found that life has slowed down significantly for me. And as others have slowed down around me, it feels as if the benefits of quiet and stillness have multiplied exponentially. I automatically slip into the layers of stillness and quiet with very little effort.
I have found that life has condensed into little pools of essentials for me. Undiluted by the outside hustle and bustle, I find that what is important has come into sharp focus. Besides the family, food, and shelter, and once those are squared away, taking care of myself has become a priority. The key, I have realized is ‘balance’. A balance between the space and time for the life essentials and for ‘me’.
This means carefully doling out the limited time I have between caring for my family; working for money (and some passion); and pursuing my various other interests that I have forever been putting on the backburner. These are practicing and teaching yoga; taking up running and losing weight; meditating and writing. Working from home full-time with no commute time in these coronavirus days, I can find time for everything.
I started running -thirty minutes to an hour every other day. On weekends, my husband and I try to find time to run together. Since our favorite restaurants are closed and there isn’t much else to do, running has become a way for us to spend some time together. While I have lost a few pounds, the big draw is really the mental cleanse that I feel after a run, that allows me to start or continue my day on the right note.
I restarted my yoga and meditation practice. I do at least 15-20 minutes of yoga and meditation daily, sometimes more. I keep my practice fresh by watching You Tube videos of some of my favorite yoga teachers. I am myself a trained yoga teacher. For a long time, I have wanted to start my yoga classes. I see this time as an opportunity to start planting the seed for potential yoga clients. My mantra is one small step a day. The other day it was handwritten invitation notes to my neighbors to join me on an online yoga class. Every day I take a few minutes to study yoga poses. Every day I take notes on my yoga journal on poses or ideas for my yoga life. The goal is to keep learning and keep growing, no matter how small the step.
Finally, the hardest is writing, I have committed to one page a day. I have been reading various books and watching you tube channels on writing. My goal is to restart my blog, perhaps short essays on everyday life. Writing is an evolving journey with no set goals. Beyond the one page, and one blog a week, I keep everything free and open.
This is my preferred life design, the life that I have been wanting to lead, being able to take care of my family but also take care of myself. To me, taking care of myself means spending time pursuing my various interest. And for the first time, I have been able to make time for everything that I want to do. And it feels wonderful for now !
rajbhand 