The last few weeks of my life has been practice on slowing down; finding space to breathe; and just being. Life happened one thing after the other. Deadlines at work; back to back family events; financial worries; computer crises- are just a few. Yet I know that I have so much to be grateful for- especially a healthy and a beautiful daughter to come home to.
Life- this tour de force is churning around me leaving monuments and debris on its wake. It feels like sitting in the eye of the tornado and watching things around us swirl and change. Friends and families going through changes in their lives- a close family member battling cancer; a friend seeing her one year old son battling cancer; a couple trying to find ways to live together; a family going through unemployment and financial woes; friends struggling with work pressures; friends trying to find significant others; and a new acquaintance going through separation. And on a more positive note- weddings, births, promotions, healing, travels and other opportunities.
While the lives around me is changing, my own is moving at a very fast pace. Most days I feel like I am being passed through several ringers and by the end of the day I am drained and washed out. My levels of problems are what you may call the Cadillac versions of the problem world. My week looks like- some job dissatisfaction, a hacked computer and lost access to all my data, work commute woes, child care expenses, family demands and tussles, pressures of starting a business- these are the new normal of my new life. My work also looks like – toothless and heart aching grins from my daughter; peace and quiet of precious alone times; debut of my small business; the assignment that went well; and baby steps getting back into driving; and the slowness of Sunday mornings.
Finding the space to put every day into perspective by being mindful of what is around me and inside me, keeps me sane. For examples work deadlines have their own place in my new life list and it is definitely not at the top. This new realization allows me to live a more or less normal and stable life- if it is not a life threatening factor- I know I will eventually get by.
Finding that space and perspective has everything to do with finding space in the day to day to be in touch with myself. This may translate into quiet time on the mat, a fifteen minute journaling before I go to bed, a quick walk, an extended yoga practice, or sometimes just a few mindful breaths before I go to bed. And staying open enough to connect with people- family and strangers alike. Making time to spend a few minutes with the newly returned from Family medical leave coworker; listening to the life story of that uber driver who is going through death, separation, and job loss with a heavy but pure heart; and rearranging the schedule to connect to a friend from ten life times ago.